Morning mood in one perfect sip: a polite 1950s gentleman smiling like butter wouldn’t melt while quietly telling the entire world to zip it. This retro badge is the classiest possible way to say “I haven’t had my coffee yet, do not test me.”

Perfect for early shifts, grumpy commutes, family gatherings, or any moment you need to weaponize passive-aggression with vintage charm. Printed bold on ultra-soft ring-spun cotton with a relaxed unisex fit that’s comfier than silence.

Key Features:

• Crisp vintage-style print that hits like a polite slap
• Super-soft cotton for maximum comfort while you ignore people
• Available in stealth black and coffee-stain-proof vintage brown
• Sizes S to 2XL
• Guaranteed to end small talk faster than a slammed door

Sizing